Bloody Crafty

A Funny Thing Happened on my Way to Employment

Soooo apparently living at a higher altitude makes you closer to the sun - not unlike being closer to the equator.  It's not that I didn't know this, I just don't think I understood the actual effects of being closer to the sun.  Or maybe I miscalculated how much closer.  Regardless, yesterday it was absolutely beautiful in Denver - nearly 70' and not a cloud in the sky.  I decided the best thing for me to do in my final days of unemployment was to sit outside all afternoon and read.  And I did just that for the most part. 

I remember coming in to check email a few times and pushing the redness on my arm to see it turn white which did excite me.  I really like a little color on my Irish/English/German/Scottish/French white skin.  But I just thought it was a tiny bit.  At 4:00 I looked down in the bathroom, as one does, and noticed from the knees down my legs were bright red.  I am officially sunburned - achieved in Colorado in early March.  Seriously!  My face was smothered in sunscreen (I am trying to preserve what is left of my youth) so it just has a pretty glow.  Sadly, I made a poor choice in shirt selection yesterday as clearly demonstrated here.  Today is not as pretty or as warm but I have high hopes of sitting strapless for a while this afternoon with my arms covered to try to balance this out before I show my arms at my new job next week - because, I think we all can agree this really doesn't provoke great confidence in my brilliance.

Roar!

When I was in high school I had a group of friends that consisted mostly of boys and to be "one of the guys", it was imperative to pretend to love sports as we sat for hours staring at Marcus' huge TV while drinking something dreadful like Natural Light or Milwaukee's Best. This ultimately led to a general appreciation of many games that wasn’t recognized for years. But I have to admit I never understood watching golf on TV – or playing golf for that matter.  In the advertising business (or any business for that matter), golf is a common relationship builder event – like lunch.  So about 10 years ago I bought some clubs and of course a fabulous bag and shoes (I actually accessorize better on the golf course than I do in real life) and a 12-pack and vowed just to have fun and never to keep score.

That, however, did not stop me from constantly proclaiming "I am Tiger Woods" after every swing.  It was right about then that I started to watch golf on TV and realized it is way better to watch on TV than to actually play.  These people make shots and the networks don't make you walk the entire course, you just go from shot to shot - that saves a truckload of time.  If only baseball went like that.  But it didn't take long to realize, I really didn't like to watch golf on TV - I liked to watch Tiger.  Amazing isn't a strong enough word.  My friend Tony has been remarking "it's like watching history" for years and he's right.  This past weekend's Match Play championship that I have zero understanding of (he won by 8 and 7 - what does that mean?) was a pure delight.  All the great t-shots and bouncing balls off people's heads and putts from one green over - it's all unbelievable even when you are watching it happen.  But for me, I got way more wrapped up in Tiger's new cooler weather costume. The polypropylene undershirt made him seem even more like a superhero. What's next - a cape?  I'm sure it's just Nike test marketing something - the magic undershirt that makes you really believe "I am Tiger Woods".  Though I have no idea what's going on with the lavender.