Bloody Crafty

Vogue - My Version of "The September Issue"

In honor of my birthday, last Saturday I sat outside with a bottle of champagne and the September issue of Vogue.  On my third pass, I had the following thoughts - enjoy!

I appreciate that Ralph Lauren continues to offer the same amazing American sportswear year after year - the croc brown boots in the ad are fantabulous.  I think the Fendi campaign with Jessica Stam is the best shot. I'm so glad I've seen this girl in person and I know of her flaws otherwise I would be pulled into a desperate funnel of jealousy - Love Her (also she walks well which many a semi-supermodel can not say). It hurts to say bad things about Prada - but those boots in the ad look like fishing waders - not pretty. The Bottega Veneta line this season is perfection - unattainable but still perfect.  Love every piece (but the ones in Bazaar were better). Anna Sui for Target Sept 13 - VMA Day - coincidence? I think not. I still think I would pay the most to wear anything by Oscar de la Renta. Nine West leopard booties would have to pay me.

DKNY has the best buyable line of the season - again the offering in Bazaar was better (I'm beginning to see why I like Bazaar better than Vogue). I kind of love the Tiffany keys - a diamond key seems silly until you look at them for half a second. Also love the Ferretti offering this season (especially the purple coat in the well). I remain saddened that she never showed at Bryant Park when I was hanging out there. I think my very favorite thing featured this season is the Hugo Boss leather bag with the flower petal embroidery.  Amazing! After last season's BCBG ad with the awesome one shoulder dress that ceased to exist, I am skeptical of liking any BCBG ads - unfortunately that is beyond my control.  I have read a lot about this MoroccanOil - could that be as strong as a Brazilian Blowout?  Ooooh - Christian Siriano for Payless? WTF? Emma Watson hurts my eyes in the Burberry campaign - so pretty.

If I had short hair could I be as cool as Marion Cotillard?  Those 80s baggy pants that every designer is showing are disgraceful. How nice to see Jason Wu getting so much press! Saw him at "The September Issue" premier with Karlie Kloss and here a whole editorial feature about his sewing abilities - love it!  The Nicholas Kirkwood hairy ankle boots might be the scariest thing I've ever seen - they're like a small dog.  I love that the actress in "Inglorious Basterds" is named Melanie. 

Now I will just wait for Fall to arrive - until then, there will be tons of work to do on Halloween!

Revving Up

 Sooooo - I've been gone for a while.  Totally not fulfilling by new year's promise to deliver up to date content. Let's pretend I was off for the summer and now that school has started again - so will I.  But I thought the place needed a little updating so get ready for the new and improved Bloody Crafty in the coming weeks (special thanks to Amy for guilting me into action).

PS - My birthday is five short days away!

Delayed Resolutions

I recently discovered that it's almost July - half way mark for the calendar year and the month before the month of my birth.  That brought to mind what hasn't been done yet - like Halloween costume final selection (but we're close), sequin advent calendar construction, and all those resolutions I published here back in January.

I went back to look to see what I had yet to accomplish before the end of the year.  Here's an update:
1. Sell stuff on craig's list.  I think about this a lot - that's almost as good as doing it.  Check!
2. Eric on Wheel of Fortune.  I actually DID sign him up but not one has called yet.  Check!
3. Blog with consistency.  ummm, I'm working on it.  But that was before Twitter.
4. Be happy.  At this moment - check!
5. Get a challenging, well paying job (that was specific).  SUPER CHECK!  Some days it is challenging to figure out why they are paying me so well.  But we're getting there and I feel very fortunate to be here.
6. Build a treehouse.  This has NOT happened yet.
7. Stain the bench.  One coat made it and then it snowed.  Still looks better than no coats.  Check!
8. Pay off a lot of debt.  This is happening but we're not done yet.
9. Get a new car that is not a corolla.  Not yet.
10. Embrace a slower pace.  This might not happen - ever.

So, five out of ten - that would be great for the end of the year!  I had no idea how resolute I was.  HOORAY!

YouTwitFace!

Actually I'm more of the twitface.  I think I read that Conan O'Brien coined that phrase as someone who spends too much time on Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook.  That might be me lately - and it's clearly keeping me away from the more important task of waxing poetic here.  So that's my apology for my distance.  The good news is that I'm not just spending my time surfing Twitter - I'm actually "tweeting" (though I hate that terminology - it's all birdlike and I hate birds).  I decided that if I really want to expand upon my current tasks at my new job, I'd have to prove that I'm actually a social media zealot (it changes too often for anyone to be an expert).  And I thought the first question from anyone might be - well are you on Twitter?  So yes I am and I'm very witty and charming and kind of smart when I'm there.  For proof see www.twitter.com/melaniegt.  And if you really know me you can see how I'm different on Facebook - because I was really savvy and got my name there too - www.facebook.com/melaniegt. See?  It's totally believable that I know my shit.

But I do like this outlet to show my crafty talents - I'm bigger than my ability to read Digg faster than other people.  So I'll try to come back more than once a bloody month.

Six Through Ten

Sometimes I have a tendency to dwell on the negative.  If something doesn't go just my way, rather than seeing the glimmers of light all around me - I fall into a spiral of darkness (this is why unemployment never really panned out for me).  And it doesn't have to be anything really huge like unemployment, small disappointments tend to rattle me as well - like when people don't respond to my messages immediately.  So in the interest of staying hopeful and positive, I'm going to find five extra things that I am thankful for and make me happy to focus on each week.  Of course that list always starts with 1. the love and patience of Eric, 2. the sensitive second grader, 3. the sassy kindergartener, 4. the laughter and health of all three of them, and 5. the love and health of my friends and parents.   So this list will be a Top 10 but only 6-10 will be noted.

6. My new Loreal Telescopic mascara.  This might be the best since I've found since discovering Lancome Extencils in 1988 - in fact considering Loreal owns Lancome it might be the same stuff.  But the tiny bendy wand really makes all the difference. People are noticing my eyelashes again - not just all three of my boys.
7. "Grey's Anatomy".  Of course the season is over until October, but I saved the last four episodes and watched them all online in tiny 10 minute pieces over the course of two weeks.  It felt like I was a part of Seattle Grace.
8. Golf.  We took the boys out to play at a 3-par course on Sunday and played as a foursome for the first time.  The bags were cumbersome (obviously I prefer a cart with a cooler), as was repeatedly trying to explain "it's not a baseball bat", but it was so much fun.
9. Jeopardy.  We try to end every day on the couch for 20 minutes to make sure our brains still work for the important stuff like names of rivers and state capitals.  After a 50 minute commute, it's often the best part of my day.
10. GoLean Crunch with Blueberries.  I've started eating a quality breakfast and I'm not sure it makes me eat less the rest of the day as magazines will tell you - but it does make me feel like i'm putting something good in my body.  It helps cancel out the Big Cheez-its. 

My Life on Twitter

A few years ago when people without an .edu email first started getting on Facebook, I remember someone saying "all my friends are on twitter."  I'm sure I responded with an air of disgust and said, "what's that?" when I meant "who cares?"  I can be an uninformed bitch that way.   But to be fair (to myself), two years ago it probably wasn't  much.   That clearly has all changed.

In my new job I spend all day on Twitter.  Not writing but reading and paying attention.  It is true that people use Twitter for really mundane things like "just ordered dominos".  I used to think who gives a crap?  But now, I DO - since I'm comparing how often people want to share their affiliation with one brand over another.  It's a really interesting study. I've also found that the fastest way to know ANYTHING is on Twitter - live blogging is delayed, regular blogging is really delayed, and news is tomorrow.  Based on last night's Twitter activity I'm pretty sure Danny Gokey will finally be eliminated from American Idol because he was nowhere to be found - just Kris and Adam and his tongue.  I've even found a few people that use Twitter to share useful information.  And I'm pretty sure in the marketing world, I'll never need to actually attend a conference I can just follow the important stuff via Twitter posts which is very convenient and lowers my carbon footprint.

To get a lot of these interesting things, I had to start following people who, oddly, in turn started following me.  How disappointing for them since I still don't know how I would use such a thing as Twitter.  I can't imagine people that know me really caring what i'm doing or where I'm at (plus that's totally what Facebook status is for) - much less those that don't know me. BUT if I were famous - I can see a point.  If people thought I knew a lot about anything and I provided up to the minute details of anything new - that might be useful.  But this blog alone pretty much cements my limited basic knowledge of unimportant things like sewing, so I don't anticipate that happening anytime soon.  Plus they call all these posts "Tweets" - and as we all know, I hate birds.

Coordination is Fleeting

As bikini season approaches, I have been slightly obsessed with my body (more so than usual).  I tried changing my diet a little (I don't eat that poorly and only drink moderately Wed-Sun) - more fiber.  But I didn't notice any huge changes that would lead me to believe I was ready to enter a pageant.  So I moved onto my exercise regime and with the help of a P90X infomercial, I decided that my four year long routine had led my body to believe I wasn't exercising at all (and yes, that kind of pisses me and my alarm clock off).  A girlfriend said that she started kickboxing ("sport of the future,"Lloyd Dobler said with conviction) and really enjoyed it.  That looked way easier than P90X which pretty much laughed at me through the Internet at me even considering it.

So as all serious exercisers do, I went to Target and got an Ultimate TaeBo DVD.  Eric and I did TaeBo for like two weeks 10 years ago when it first came out which made the $13 purchase justified due to little intimidation.  I jumped out of bed after only one snooze at 5:00am on Monday, grabbed my Mac and spent 15 minutes trying to get the plastic off the DVD - I should really do that shit the night before.  But I didn't let it zap my budding enthusiasm to try something new and be bikini ready for my backyard as soon spring decides to stick around for a weekend in Denver. 

As I stepped side to side and jabbed 1, 2, 3, 4 slowly, I thought, "this is pretty easy."  And then slow went to fast and I was reminded why I don't support public exercise.  Hello??? I used to be totally coordinated!  45 minutes later I was dripping in sweat and wondering if this was going to work out.  But I'm not a quitter, so I gave it another go on Wednesday with very sore arms and shoulders (those speed bags really work) and I discovered Eric's large fish poster makes a great skinny mirror - my determination returned and I did a little better.  This morning I noticed a real improvement - I had to turn down the volume - their counting didn't go with the movement - but I was still slow at times.  And sometimes when I jump too much, it still feels like my uterus might fall out - but I am confident that this could work.  Put your hammer down, indeed.

Three Weeks Later

My apologies for my distance.  I'm now in week three of my new job - which I'm hoping will be my last new job for a while - and things remain unsteady.  I am still not sure what my job is.  I know my title is a Senior Brand Analyst - which sounds kind of impressive to me.  And to be fair - I do spend most of my day analyzing brands - mostly in the social space.  (Note: I still don't get Twitter but I spend the entire day there now.  It's a fascinating place - not fascinating enough to join - but good for stalking.)  But I'm not sure long term I'm supposed to make a career out of following brands in the digital social sphere - and if I am, then I'm going to need to be able to make some recommendations based on all this observation.  But it shows promise and it feels good to know that I'm sitting under the same dark roof as some very talented people.

Here are some general observations on my unnamed surroundings:
1. It is NOT a sweatshop.  Some people work early, some work late - the majority are normal people who have a life and a job just like Dolly Parton and Jane Fonda did.
2. People aren't overly friendly.  I haven't met anyone yet outside of my cubemate who started a week after me.  I can't figure out why - maybe people have their own friends, maybe there are so many people here they don't want to say "are you new?" when i could have been here for three years without them knowing.  Hopefully, as I gain more responsibilities, I'll get to a go a meeting or something.  I'm employing patience.
3. This is by far the most generous place I've ever worked.  You can bring your dog, your kid, your bike - anything - just show up and don't bother everyone around you.  There's free breakfast food available all day.  They'll pick you up in a bus to bring you to work.  If you participate, you get a prize.  And if you can't get out - they have a couple guys that will run your errands for you.  It's nice.
4. Four words: Diet Coke on Tap!
5. Not nearly the ego I was expecting.  One notable quote: "This might be the dumbest thing we've ever done.  Funny, but totally dumb.  But congrats to the production team who got the whole thing for  steal!"

So - I think I've found a home.  At least I'm more comfortable than I was hocking beer.  We'll see in 20 more weeks.

Make Meaning

So in my final few days of my current job, I find myself reflecting on all the loads of crap on my desk and perhaps what I have learned.  I think the most compelling thing I was exposed to was the Avenue-A/Razorfish Client Summit last May.  Now that I'm sort of going to a competitive company, I probably won't be able to praise Razorfish publicly much but I thought that was the best thing I've seen from any agency since my first agency retreat 12 years ago.  They had a ton of very compelling speakers including Sir George Martin, the Beatles producer for many years.  I had no idea who he was and could not have been less excited to see him speak for two hours - but have never been more engaged in a speaker.  It was like watching a live documentary - truly fascinating.

But my favorite speaker by far was Guy Kawasaki .  He was one of the first guys at Apple and has made a living out of giving the same speech 900 times - at least according to my youtube search.  But he's also a venture capitalist and started alltop.com.  Most importantly he's about the most entertaining speaker ever!  He turned his canned speech into a focus on Innovation - the theme of the summit - and I still remember some of the funny things he said.  He had a really funny thing about consultants coming in to help write mission statements.  I was able to find several videos online - but the more I watched them, the more I realized that these should be shown to children and then high school seniors and then college students and most of all anyone considering business school - before they enroll.  His first step about making meaning not money is a Lloyd Dobler goal.  Another step was about jumping the curve and understanding the huge mistake in doing the same thing instead of looking ahead - like why ice makers didn't create the refrigerator.  And another one about niche-ing your way out of the graph.  His case study was all about pets.com trying to connect a dead cow to your hungry dog and what they forgot was how heavy dead cows were.  And one of the most used is his 10/20/30 rule for presentations.  I have yet to follow this - but I'm not trying to get millions of dollars in venture capital.  I still think it's a good rule for most people to follow.

I highly recommend attending the Razorfish client summit if you can - and I thank them and my team there for all their help over the past year.  And if you need a speaker - call Kawasaki.  He's no bozo.

Inspired Craftiness

A few weeks ago the sensitive second grader turned eight - on March 8th - the Golden Birthday!  I used to choose a theme for birthday parties and the plates and napkins and goody bag favors and cake would all match.  But I've found that eight year olds don't really need a theme.  At first he said Lego Indiana Jones, but then we figured out that he really just wanted that game for the Wii.  Then a week later after I began my search for that kind of cake, he let me know that any sort of lego themed cake would be fine.  He didn't care - Indiana Jones, Star Wars, City, anything.  So then I went on my hunt for any sort of lego cakes. 

Most of what I found was uninspired.  You know the home made cake with lego people on top.  I did find some volcano looking cakes with Jones lego people on it but that seemed so forced.  Then I found an image of an excellent cake that looked like lego bricks.  I decided that I had to have that cake - fondant covered, cupcake tops.  But alas that cake was made nowhere near Denver.  So I started calling bakeries all over the city and finally found a baker who said OK.  Fondant was going to cost me 50% more so I decided to to go with spray painted buttercreme and marshmallow tops (it still cost a ton).  But it was perfect!  (see above)  The marshmallows were actually a huge hit - every kid wanted one and got one.  I only paid for four bricks but I think they really wanted it to look like the picture so they added a fifth - we had cake for weeks (fortunately it wasn't Crawford's cake or I might have actually eaten all the leftovers).  And it weighed about 50 pounds which was odd. 

Although I didn't make it myself, it was still very crafty - next year it will be hard to beat it.  The pressure of craftiness!