Bloody Crafty

A Nailbiter Indeed - the official review of the 2009 Emmy Awards

I'm sorry for the delay.  I'm also sorry for screwing up Serena's big giant braid.  We were drinking all day and I get all excited and nervous when given the opportunity to ruin the best head of hair on the planet.  Her body still killed that dress - so no harm done.

Needless to say I loved the 2009 Emmy broadcast Sunday night - I mean it took me two days to recover from all the singing and dancing to even write this.  Neil Patrick Harris was heavenly and I usually hate white tuxedo coats.  Have you ever seen so many winners stop to literally give a live shout out to the host before thanking their losing fellow nominees?  No you haven't, it's never happened.  I thought the song and dance was lovely, I thought the roaming camera was the best part catching the stars off guard.  His jokes were mostly funny - and if they weren't he laughed at himself. I thought the bit over the accountants was brilliant - and he's right the Internet is far from perfect.  He kept the show moving along at a quick pace - it was nice and enjoyable. And how awesome was John Hodgman!?!?  Like when The Daily Show won (woot!) (does anyone ever say that word is real life?), and he said, "This is their 900th Emmy win and frankly, that's too much." Ha!  Nice job, Hodgman.

One big question that bothered me all night: What the hell was Little Dorrit?  I could google it - but if it was on television, I should already know about it.  It's not often that something slips by me on TV. And then it won things.  How does that happen?

Ricky Gervais could stand on stage and talk all night if it were up to me.  He's so awesome (however, that was no excuse for that tuxedo).  In this room, I'm above average, too.  Thank you, Mr. Gervais. For everything - including the British Office Christmas Special.

The winners were fine. Ken Howard and the kidney nod were touching. Kristen Chenowith wanting to be on Mad Men was funny. Tina Fey thanking NBC for not kicking them off for Jay Leno was awesome. The Mad Men writer noting that writing isn't fun was fun. Other than that, the presenters were better. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Amy Pohler were genius - as expected.  But recognizing the demise of network television when you're ON network television is pretty funny.  Justin Timberlake is a dream - no matter what he's doing. Serena and Blair were a vision together - no matter how young they appeared. And Stephen Moyer with the original hot vampire, Angel from Buffy, just made him even less believable.

Hooray for repeat winners and the strength of cable television - now onto the important stuff - like every stylist on both coasts getting the memo to wear Red, White or Black and a few deviant ones choosing blue or gold. I was blinded by my Gossip Girls (and yes, the Bottega Venetta that Blair wore wasn't her best choice - but her in white with the red lips and the pretty up hair was stunning - and I know that Serena's Versace was just like the one she wore the Costume Institute Gala - but she wears that well and jealousy isn't becoming so shut up) but other than that I was kind of lukewarm to everything. Sandra Oh did gold best. January Jones was fantastic in the white Versace. Kyra Sedgwick looks great in a little color which she rarely wears - her body is stupid - and she knows it - just like JLD (who was fine but not perfection as she has been before). No one wore some of the beautiful gowns that I've seen on runways - and who the hell is Basil Soto? No thanks.  Other than that it was kind of boring and safe. Drew, Mariska, Tara, Kristin, Debra, Holly Hunter, Jennifer Morrison - all fine. But bad was done well, too. Where to start? Maybe Jon Cryer's stupid vest. Take you and your stupid show back to 1986 where Duckie belongs! Jane Krakowski - what the hell was that?  To the Irish woman in red who won for the mysterious Little Dorrit: there's this thing called Spanx, you should invest.  Mila Kunis's tulle explosion was ruined further by her stupid bulky shoes.  It hurt me.  Tracy Pollan's green dress was a disaster to the nth degree - I feel bad for her husband's disease, but that's not a great excuse for choosing the last dress on the rack at David's Bridal. Hey, Sarah Silverman, as a general rule you don't want your dress to be funnier than you. Jamie Lynn-Siegler you are not in New Jersey any more. I hate Kate Walsh. Almost as much as I hated that woman with Alec Baldwin and the live furry animal living in her hair. Vanessa Williams needs to first participate with the funny girls - that's how you get in the club - and THEN she needs to stop wearing satin like that.  Kristen Wiig - hahahaha. No, wait, witchy is for Halloween. Did you see Marcia Gay Harden?  If not, don't try.

Neil Patrick Harris consider yourself hired for the Academy Awards - no one will want to follow you and you're way better than Hugh Jackman. But come back to Emmy again next year. Please!

I Bought Jeans (and did not slit my wrists in the process)

Most people know that jeans aren't really my bag.  Not that there's anything wrong with them, but I prefer dresses and more tailored clothes.  Plus the fashion world has really made them trashy in the past few years - too low, too tight, too much information. So I have to buy a pair once every two years - just to put the old ones in a "throw on in a hurry" section of the closet.  However, I hate the way I look in jeans so it's a challenge.  But it was my birthday and I had some money and every store and magazine under the sun is trying to sell me jeans.

First stop - J.Crew. My last pair were JCrew matchstick jeans and I like them - but they are NOT comfortable, they are stylish.  Let's just say that it didn't work out.  Next stop The Gap - actually truth be told I started at The Gap (it's a new client I felt I had to go).  They swear their jeans FIT which is totally subjective - but whatever.  I don't buy a lot of stuff at the Gap so it's hard to know if they a run small or large.  With sunglasses firmly disguising my identity, I grabbed three styles, two sizes each.  I hurried to the dressing room before I lost my nerve. I started with the Real and Straight in the larger size... TOO BIG! Awesome, my confidence was growing.  So I tried the style in the smaller size and it was like a glove - with a little stretch. I didn't hate them.  In fact, they were soft and they were long enough and I almost liked them.

I tried the Curvy and the Long and Lean (a style I bought four years ago - two pairs ago) - but the first ones were perfect.  SOLD!  They're still in the bag where they'll likely be for a while.  It's one thing to buy them but wear them? That's going to take an event or situation.  A cool fall breeze might do it.

Customer Service: A True Story

Last night I had the most pleasant run in with semi-fast food EVER - I just had to share. 

There's a new Tokyo Joe's on Colorado Blvd close to our house (for those of you who don't live in Denver - I'm very sorry - it's like quality fast food sushi - and it's awesome) that brings Eric and I great joy.  Last night I went to grab dinner when the boys were at soccer practice - my first time at this location - and for starters it's really lovely.  It feels nicer than most fancy Japanese restaurants with an outdoor patio and huge fire pit to boot.

Anyhoo - their computer systems were down when I arrived which affects ordering and paying. A very kind man apologized and took my order on paper. He said we'd wait to pay. All the while a pleasant woman who was NOT freaking out was on the phone with IT reading screen prompts - I couldn't help but think I would be handling this differently (such as freaking out). So my food was finished and the nice man said, "here you go." I asked about payment and offered to go look in my bag for cash, and he politely said with a smile, "Don't worry about it - this one's on us."  Seriously?  You mean this isn't McDonald's when the system goes down - so do I???  Awesome!  I promised to come back and pay in full when the system was up - and I completely intend to.

In our fast moving world where no one is accountable and most of those who are there "to help" are completely powerless, a service provider or company's problems often are pushed upon the consumer. Here was a brilliant example of Tokyo Joe's taking full responsibility for their unfortunate problem. They could have said "sorry" and closed the doors - but instead they made all the customers happy and more importantly turned a "i'm never coming here again" response into "I'll be the best customer ever!"

Thanks Tokyo Joe's!

Vogue - My Version of "The September Issue"

In honor of my birthday, last Saturday I sat outside with a bottle of champagne and the September issue of Vogue.  On my third pass, I had the following thoughts - enjoy!

I appreciate that Ralph Lauren continues to offer the same amazing American sportswear year after year - the croc brown boots in the ad are fantabulous.  I think the Fendi campaign with Jessica Stam is the best shot. I'm so glad I've seen this girl in person and I know of her flaws otherwise I would be pulled into a desperate funnel of jealousy - Love Her (also she walks well which many a semi-supermodel can not say). It hurts to say bad things about Prada - but those boots in the ad look like fishing waders - not pretty. The Bottega Veneta line this season is perfection - unattainable but still perfect.  Love every piece (but the ones in Bazaar were better). Anna Sui for Target Sept 13 - VMA Day - coincidence? I think not. I still think I would pay the most to wear anything by Oscar de la Renta. Nine West leopard booties would have to pay me.

DKNY has the best buyable line of the season - again the offering in Bazaar was better (I'm beginning to see why I like Bazaar better than Vogue). I kind of love the Tiffany keys - a diamond key seems silly until you look at them for half a second. Also love the Ferretti offering this season (especially the purple coat in the well). I remain saddened that she never showed at Bryant Park when I was hanging out there. I think my very favorite thing featured this season is the Hugo Boss leather bag with the flower petal embroidery.  Amazing! After last season's BCBG ad with the awesome one shoulder dress that ceased to exist, I am skeptical of liking any BCBG ads - unfortunately that is beyond my control.  I have read a lot about this MoroccanOil - could that be as strong as a Brazilian Blowout?  Ooooh - Christian Siriano for Payless? WTF? Emma Watson hurts my eyes in the Burberry campaign - so pretty.

If I had short hair could I be as cool as Marion Cotillard?  Those 80s baggy pants that every designer is showing are disgraceful. How nice to see Jason Wu getting so much press! Saw him at "The September Issue" premier with Karlie Kloss and here a whole editorial feature about his sewing abilities - love it!  The Nicholas Kirkwood hairy ankle boots might be the scariest thing I've ever seen - they're like a small dog.  I love that the actress in "Inglorious Basterds" is named Melanie. 

Now I will just wait for Fall to arrive - until then, there will be tons of work to do on Halloween!

Revving Up

 Sooooo - I've been gone for a while.  Totally not fulfilling by new year's promise to deliver up to date content. Let's pretend I was off for the summer and now that school has started again - so will I.  But I thought the place needed a little updating so get ready for the new and improved Bloody Crafty in the coming weeks (special thanks to Amy for guilting me into action).

PS - My birthday is five short days away!

Delayed Resolutions

I recently discovered that it's almost July - half way mark for the calendar year and the month before the month of my birth.  That brought to mind what hasn't been done yet - like Halloween costume final selection (but we're close), sequin advent calendar construction, and all those resolutions I published here back in January.

I went back to look to see what I had yet to accomplish before the end of the year.  Here's an update:
1. Sell stuff on craig's list.  I think about this a lot - that's almost as good as doing it.  Check!
2. Eric on Wheel of Fortune.  I actually DID sign him up but not one has called yet.  Check!
3. Blog with consistency.  ummm, I'm working on it.  But that was before Twitter.
4. Be happy.  At this moment - check!
5. Get a challenging, well paying job (that was specific).  SUPER CHECK!  Some days it is challenging to figure out why they are paying me so well.  But we're getting there and I feel very fortunate to be here.
6. Build a treehouse.  This has NOT happened yet.
7. Stain the bench.  One coat made it and then it snowed.  Still looks better than no coats.  Check!
8. Pay off a lot of debt.  This is happening but we're not done yet.
9. Get a new car that is not a corolla.  Not yet.
10. Embrace a slower pace.  This might not happen - ever.

So, five out of ten - that would be great for the end of the year!  I had no idea how resolute I was.  HOORAY!

YouTwitFace!

Actually I'm more of the twitface.  I think I read that Conan O'Brien coined that phrase as someone who spends too much time on Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook.  That might be me lately - and it's clearly keeping me away from the more important task of waxing poetic here.  So that's my apology for my distance.  The good news is that I'm not just spending my time surfing Twitter - I'm actually "tweeting" (though I hate that terminology - it's all birdlike and I hate birds).  I decided that if I really want to expand upon my current tasks at my new job, I'd have to prove that I'm actually a social media zealot (it changes too often for anyone to be an expert).  And I thought the first question from anyone might be - well are you on Twitter?  So yes I am and I'm very witty and charming and kind of smart when I'm there.  For proof see www.twitter.com/melaniegt.  And if you really know me you can see how I'm different on Facebook - because I was really savvy and got my name there too - www.facebook.com/melaniegt. See?  It's totally believable that I know my shit.

But I do like this outlet to show my crafty talents - I'm bigger than my ability to read Digg faster than other people.  So I'll try to come back more than once a bloody month.

Six Through Ten

Sometimes I have a tendency to dwell on the negative.  If something doesn't go just my way, rather than seeing the glimmers of light all around me - I fall into a spiral of darkness (this is why unemployment never really panned out for me).  And it doesn't have to be anything really huge like unemployment, small disappointments tend to rattle me as well - like when people don't respond to my messages immediately.  So in the interest of staying hopeful and positive, I'm going to find five extra things that I am thankful for and make me happy to focus on each week.  Of course that list always starts with 1. the love and patience of Eric, 2. the sensitive second grader, 3. the sassy kindergartener, 4. the laughter and health of all three of them, and 5. the love and health of my friends and parents.   So this list will be a Top 10 but only 6-10 will be noted.

6. My new Loreal Telescopic mascara.  This might be the best since I've found since discovering Lancome Extencils in 1988 - in fact considering Loreal owns Lancome it might be the same stuff.  But the tiny bendy wand really makes all the difference. People are noticing my eyelashes again - not just all three of my boys.
7. "Grey's Anatomy".  Of course the season is over until October, but I saved the last four episodes and watched them all online in tiny 10 minute pieces over the course of two weeks.  It felt like I was a part of Seattle Grace.
8. Golf.  We took the boys out to play at a 3-par course on Sunday and played as a foursome for the first time.  The bags were cumbersome (obviously I prefer a cart with a cooler), as was repeatedly trying to explain "it's not a baseball bat", but it was so much fun.
9. Jeopardy.  We try to end every day on the couch for 20 minutes to make sure our brains still work for the important stuff like names of rivers and state capitals.  After a 50 minute commute, it's often the best part of my day.
10. GoLean Crunch with Blueberries.  I've started eating a quality breakfast and I'm not sure it makes me eat less the rest of the day as magazines will tell you - but it does make me feel like i'm putting something good in my body.  It helps cancel out the Big Cheez-its. 

My Life on Twitter

A few years ago when people without an .edu email first started getting on Facebook, I remember someone saying "all my friends are on twitter."  I'm sure I responded with an air of disgust and said, "what's that?" when I meant "who cares?"  I can be an uninformed bitch that way.   But to be fair (to myself), two years ago it probably wasn't  much.   That clearly has all changed.

In my new job I spend all day on Twitter.  Not writing but reading and paying attention.  It is true that people use Twitter for really mundane things like "just ordered dominos".  I used to think who gives a crap?  But now, I DO - since I'm comparing how often people want to share their affiliation with one brand over another.  It's a really interesting study. I've also found that the fastest way to know ANYTHING is on Twitter - live blogging is delayed, regular blogging is really delayed, and news is tomorrow.  Based on last night's Twitter activity I'm pretty sure Danny Gokey will finally be eliminated from American Idol because he was nowhere to be found - just Kris and Adam and his tongue.  I've even found a few people that use Twitter to share useful information.  And I'm pretty sure in the marketing world, I'll never need to actually attend a conference I can just follow the important stuff via Twitter posts which is very convenient and lowers my carbon footprint.

To get a lot of these interesting things, I had to start following people who, oddly, in turn started following me.  How disappointing for them since I still don't know how I would use such a thing as Twitter.  I can't imagine people that know me really caring what i'm doing or where I'm at (plus that's totally what Facebook status is for) - much less those that don't know me. BUT if I were famous - I can see a point.  If people thought I knew a lot about anything and I provided up to the minute details of anything new - that might be useful.  But this blog alone pretty much cements my limited basic knowledge of unimportant things like sewing, so I don't anticipate that happening anytime soon.  Plus they call all these posts "Tweets" - and as we all know, I hate birds.

Coordination is Fleeting

As bikini season approaches, I have been slightly obsessed with my body (more so than usual).  I tried changing my diet a little (I don't eat that poorly and only drink moderately Wed-Sun) - more fiber.  But I didn't notice any huge changes that would lead me to believe I was ready to enter a pageant.  So I moved onto my exercise regime and with the help of a P90X infomercial, I decided that my four year long routine had led my body to believe I wasn't exercising at all (and yes, that kind of pisses me and my alarm clock off).  A girlfriend said that she started kickboxing ("sport of the future,"Lloyd Dobler said with conviction) and really enjoyed it.  That looked way easier than P90X which pretty much laughed at me through the Internet at me even considering it.

So as all serious exercisers do, I went to Target and got an Ultimate TaeBo DVD.  Eric and I did TaeBo for like two weeks 10 years ago when it first came out which made the $13 purchase justified due to little intimidation.  I jumped out of bed after only one snooze at 5:00am on Monday, grabbed my Mac and spent 15 minutes trying to get the plastic off the DVD - I should really do that shit the night before.  But I didn't let it zap my budding enthusiasm to try something new and be bikini ready for my backyard as soon spring decides to stick around for a weekend in Denver. 

As I stepped side to side and jabbed 1, 2, 3, 4 slowly, I thought, "this is pretty easy."  And then slow went to fast and I was reminded why I don't support public exercise.  Hello??? I used to be totally coordinated!  45 minutes later I was dripping in sweat and wondering if this was going to work out.  But I'm not a quitter, so I gave it another go on Wednesday with very sore arms and shoulders (those speed bags really work) and I discovered Eric's large fish poster makes a great skinny mirror - my determination returned and I did a little better.  This morning I noticed a real improvement - I had to turn down the volume - their counting didn't go with the movement - but I was still slow at times.  And sometimes when I jump too much, it still feels like my uterus might fall out - but I am confident that this could work.  Put your hammer down, indeed.